Your eyes would be drawn to an advert with prices announcing a pound per pint. Upon buying two pints you would be charged £48.99. If you wanted to pay on card that would cost an additional £5. Plus a £5 administration fee. As the landlord served you he would grope your wife’s tits, leering as he did so.

You would look around - and see fear, anger and discomfort writ large on the face of every punter in there. A mixture of aggression and boredom on the faces of the staff.

You might be tempted to take back your pint - it not being what you expected - but would be mindful of the fact that the landlord punched the last guy in the face.